Kevin is not sure if this attraction and feelings are just one way. Jack talks about dating other men, his sexual escapades which hurt Kevin. Kevin on the other hand has not told Jack how he feels about him. It’s complicated and you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Kevin is planning to tell Jack about how he feels, even though he’s worried about both possible outcomes: 1) creates awkward situation and the friendship suffers 2) Jack feels the same way and therefore he will have to deal with a relationship and more risk to what they already have. Kevin has a very common dilemma? Friend or love? He was seeking my advice. My rules in this department are simple. I’m a box guy: friend or lover. One cannot be in one box or the other. If you are my friend you cannot be my lover. If you were my lover, you cannot be my friend. Practical? Probably. Do they work out? I’m still trying to figure it out.

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There is a song that says “tonight let’s be lover’s and tomorrow let’s be friend.” The reality is that this type of relationship spectrum is not that simple. Friendships get complicated when someone starts developing romantic feelings for friends. Kevin has a dilemma. He has a crush on his friend Jack. They are not very close friends but Kevin has always felt a strong connection with Jack...they are both very similar. Kevin tells me that Jack “gets him.” There is clearly strong physical attractive between Kevin and Jack although Kevin feels Jack may be out of his league. There is a lot of flirting...but what gay friends do not flirt?

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Don't get me wrong. I’ve had many crushes on friends. I’ve actually been honest and up front about it. It hurt to be rejected but the friendship did not suffer. I truly believe that you must let the other person know how you feel. Most friends would be flattered that you have a crush or romantic feelings for them. Is it risky? Yes. But what relationship is not risky. People dump you, change, move and die. Putting yourself out there is like walking out the door...you may be hurt but you may also find a lot of pleasure and joy! Many of my friends find relationships through friendship. The relationship is indeed a spectrum...with many shades in between (friend, lover, fuck buddy) so I’m not one to judge what works for others. I told Kevin he should probably be honest with Jack if he felt like it was something he wanted to pursue. “Live without regrets,” is my new motto!

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Boyfriends and partners come and go but true friends are there for a lifetime. So in an effort to get out of my post-relationship funk, I’ve been hanging out with my lovely urban family. Last night I caught up with Zara and Jenny. We used to work together some years back in the cushiest job I ever hard. It was a full time job but it felt like part time due to the fact that we would finish our work about midday. We would spend the rest of the day checking out the cute coffee boys and talking about love (or our lack of) and relationships.

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Zara and Jenny were both now in long term relationships. Zara was the female (if there is such a thing) me. She was needy, emotionally unstable yet passionate and romantic. Her partner S was the true bloke Aussie. They had a good relationship…although Zia’s neediness sometimes got in the way and they would have bad fights and she’d come back to work crying. I guess my ex would have called Zara a drama queen. She’s fiercely loyal and I respected that she was honest about what she was – “needy.” We were going to form the needy group. Jenny on the other hand was very independent (she does not like to cuddle!) and her relationship to her partner G was the opposite of Zara. Jenny almost was the dominant person in the relationship. She wore the pants in that relationship. We started talking about how men express love…I asked Zara if S ever said “I love you” without her saying it first. This was one of the things that bugged me about DG. He never said “I love you” without me saying it first. I read an article that said men (probably straight and Caucasian) though that saying “I love you” was a bit like saying their name. Once they said it once, there was no need to say it again.

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